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2009-12-28, 10:03 p.m.

My mind and body are going to hell - I haven't run since I've gotten home, haven't been eating properly (binging on the shitty food we've got over hither one day, not eating at all the next), I haven't been writing which is oddly wearing me out. In short, I've gone soft. Still working on my thesis, turned in a draft yesterday, have another due next Monday, but I've been moody, feeling shitty physically because of my stupid weird eating habits and not working out.

I honestly used to make fun of people who ran, but now I get it. It's fucking addicting, and once you stop there are serious phases of withdrawal.

It's sad that I'm going through this now. My family these past few days has been so much fun, and I just haven't been giving them the attention they deserve from me- going through the motions without actually being there. I feel like shit about it, especially because one of my siblings pointed it out to me yesterday. I tucked them in without doing "taco" and "burrito" or telling stories with all the voices like I usually do. So, first thing tomorrow, bright and early, I'm going to go running, which means I have to somehow get myself to bed before 2. Those readers who would like to be supportive, run with me tomorrow morning! (well, you don't have to physically be there)- specially you ron's. Tomorrow. 7am. I'm gonna text you loser. Be prepared.

Alright, I'm done complaining. I've set my workout clothes out, mp3 player is ready. Tomorrow morning. Was running 40 min. straight before I came home, I hope I can make it 15 tomorrow!

Also, I need to be more serious about getting my tattoo. I think I'm going to get it in NOLA after all. There's a place in Austin that I actually trust a lot more (Leno, where you got your nose pierced), but to say I got my tattoo done in New Orleans would be pretty cool. Also thinking of changing it from "justice" to an arabic word meaning strength of will. There's also another cool christian arabic word (badaliya) that encompass this idea of someone giving completely of themselves for someone else, modeling after Christ. It's very much an idea that I believe in, but I'm not part of the movement, and it's a little too spiritual for me. As I stated earlier, the idea for this tattoo was to brand my body with a concept that will keep me grounded in those things that I so fully believe today, so that I won't forget them when I'm old(er), and tempted by soft couches and such. The idea of Justice came about because it's something that ties me to my work. To be just requires wisdom (or the ability to tell the difference between truth and non-truth). Really the arabic word I was looking at using means "to be just" rather than justice itself.

Strength of will however is a term I think that goes even farther. I need to go to bed however, so I'll have to save it for another time.

On the shallow side, some of it is going to depend on what exactly those words would look like in the font I want.

Much love.