"Here and here our blood with plant its olive tree" Mahmud Darwish.
2008-10-09, 9:21 a.m.

"The Earth is closing on us
pushing us through the last passage
and we tear off our limbs to pass through.
The Earth is squeezing us.
I wish we were its wheat
so we could die and live again.
I wish the Earth was our mother
so she'd be kind to us.

I wish we were pictures on the rocks
for our dreams to carry as mirrors.
We saw the faces of those who will throw
our children out of the window of this last space.
Our star will hang up mirrors.
Where should we go after the last frontiers?
Where should the birds fly after the last sky?
Where should the plants sleep after the last breath of air?
We will write our names with scarlet steam.
We will cut off the hand of the song to be finished by our flesh.
We will die here, here in the last passage.
Here and here our blood will plant its olive tree.
"

Mahmud Darwish I did something stupid. I tried to stay involved with Austin PSC. STUPID. Last semester I worked hard to sever bonds, I get here, I get homesick, and so I email PSC people and talk to them about a possible event they can do that we're doing here. Then they dont answer. I get paranoid and sad, and so I email them a paranoid sad email asking why they didn't respond (but more professionally than that) and then I get a curt terse reply from Mishal, and now I feel even MORE paranoid, sad and homesick. I might not have gotten along with PSC aura but I loved it for all its faults and greatness. I feel so politically isolated over here in NOLA and I hate that I'm pretty sure some current PSCers don't appreciate me barging in on what I'm sure is a busy season for them. I feel clingly and horrible about it, and just yuck. I need to just go forward, and forget what was, and try to build something new. And that's what I'm doing, but it's taking so long. I mean it's been a whole month already and I've only been to ONE (because there's only been one) NOLA Palestine Solidarity meeting, and that's about where it starts and ends. Though I am writing a chapter for a book coming out about palestinians in palestine and the diaspora. Really I should just forget about it. I wasn't the only one feeling annoyed by PSC leadership last semester, and I wasn't the only one that was vocal about it either. If they don't like me, it's not for anything I've done. I need to move on, and pave my own way over here. If I can't find activism, I should MAKE it. Enjoy the darwish poem, and I'll talk to you guys laterz!