"It's like a book elegantly bound, but in a language that you can't read. You gotta spend some time - - love, you gotta spend some time with me" Death Cab
2008-03-28, 2:55 p.m.

I don't want to be a part of anything. All it does is cause headache. I feel like I destroy everything I touch (much like that one song!). I was supposed to validate some reimbursement checks at the bank but I didn't because I didn't fucking KNOW. I've never been responsible for check stuff before. Everything I have been responsible for I've done, and I've done well.
Now, I am fine with the whole thing because it's all working out, but our treasurer, whom I was doing a favor for by picking up the checks in the first place, got all pissy at me. Well, not AT me, he expressed his distaste in an email to UT bank officials which he then forwarded to me. I can't believe he would write me off so damn quickly. He's not exactly a god of perfection.

First and foremost I am incredibly sorry that I screwed up. I'll be the first to admit that I made a mistake (granted when I asked the girl at the counter if that was all, she said yeah and let me go. Shouldn't she be a guru of what's going on? She works there.)
But first and foremost it's my fault. I get it, I'm sorry, I'll do whatever needs to be done to fix it.
But he's not only another PSCer, he's also my fucking COUSIN and he feels the need to make sure everyone knows it was my stupidity that caused all this trouble. The way he worded that letter really sucked. Basically he said "it's not my fault, I'm awesome, stuff like this doesn't happen "under my watch" (exact quote on that) it was her, another PSCer who forgot to get them validated.

I didn't fucking forget, I didn't KNOW.

And my mind is just on spin right now. Besides I'm still reeling from the nonie darwish event which I won't talk about until I calm down. my heart is torn to shreds because i want to tell someone something that I can't, because in the words of my loved ones, I'm leaving soon and I shouldn't dredge up old stuff. I've been trying to keep my cool, it's not working.
Yesterday night I had an amazing night, and I almost forgot everything for a split second. But a split second isn't enough. It's not nearly enough.

this would be a good time to play some cheesy ass music. I love this song!!

"I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl u better try to have fun
No matter what u do
But he's a fool
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you "

good old sinead oconnor. That doesn't really fit, but any opportunity to bring that song up works for me!

Fedora is such a sweet sweet friend btw. I could do the dumbest, stupidest thing and she's completely cool about it. She is so amazing.

I'm reading this Tanya Reinheart book, "Roadmap to nowhere. Israel/Palestin 2003" which is nothing short of amazingly written and documented. But the result is that I'm completely newsed/politiked out.

I haven't looked at the news in two days (not including all the links I get from people of course).
So if you came here for that, I'm sorry. No politics today.

But here's a cool link to tide you over!

http://www.floristone.com/hippopotamus-tortoise.html