"Even though love is not what you were looking for"
2008-05-30, 9:39 a.m.

I don't know what this blog is. I've been at it since high school, and now I've graduated college, and I still don't know what this blog is. I didn't want to make it political because I like talking about politics, I'm not much of a news writer. I don't do daily chronology. I live my life, and most of it I don't care to re-live.
So instead it's become a dump spot for lyrics stuck in my head "tell me I'm who your mouth was made for" *starts singing*

It's also gotten me in a good heap of trouble. My friends wanted to go on a rescue mission when they read it in high school. I was dark and brooding. Big damn deal.
I said shit about someone I was mad at, and lo and behold, he read it. I still can't IMAGINE how he got ahold of it. And the list goes on.

But yet I keep blogging, I don't make it private even though that would save me tons of trouble.

Why? Maybe my subconscious wants people to know not only what lyrics are stuck in my head but what they mean to me. God knows I didn't enjoy all the trouble this blog put me in, but it was a catalyst for stuff I suppose, and maybe that's what I was looking for?

I just don't know, and I'm not a self interpreter, introspective kind of person when it comes to these things.

Onward. Yesterday I went out with some friends to a sushi bar downtown yesterday evening (really nice place called Kyoto. Half off at 6:00). I had Sake for the first time! It was actually really good, but got nasty fast when it started cooling down.

I had such an amazing time. It was so incredibly fun, and relaxing. I looked and felt good, and the company was fabulous.
I got home, danced around my room for a bit, messed with my hair making it up in ways I would never do in public, talked to Fedora for a bit, and then it sank in.
I might never see those girls again (except for Fobs, who will be going to New Orleans with me in July to traverse the area. Leno, you coming dude? Keep me updated on the job search! I'll call you this evening).

I'm excited about going to New Orleans, but really I can't wait to come back to Austin. I really love this city.
But it's time to move on with so much in my life. I think I cling to things because it's easier (i'm kinda lazy).
I adapt really really quickly, and I'm good in spontaneous situations. But long term stuff, I like to know how things are. Like moving to New Orleans, I can't wait to just settle down, I hate the looking part. I want to get to that stage where I know the streets blindfolded, have a favorite eatery, study spot, etc.

And I want to meet people. I have friends that I will keep forever. People who have changed my life, and that I can never ever give up, but I'm also ready to make new friends, and acquaintances, and maybe meet new men.

Right now I'm in a funky waiting stage, where I'm just . . . waiting.
Waiting to go apartment hunting, because apparently you should do that three weeks before you're planning on moving in, according to native orleanians. I'm waiting for this choking pain on my heart to subside so I can move on with my life, I'm waiting for news on what I'll be TAing (I can't WAIT. I have always always always wanted to be a TA. I am so excited).

So I'm really just waiting. I hate waiting.

Much love.